50 shades of Grey: kinky sex or abusive relationship?

I want to start this post by saying that I respect everyone that enjoyed this books/film. I think it's great that more women are open to explore their sexuality and experiment new things. Personally, I tried reading the first book and stopped half way through, the writing was awful and it felt like what it is, a book written by an old woman that was fantasizing about twilight, it didn't feel like something a 23 year old girl would do or say (without going into details and spoilers). 

I went to see the film last week to have ammunition, I'm not sure I can sit through the book again. To be fair, I found the film very tame (compared to what I read on the book, which wasn't much) and I agree on the fact that the actors had no chemistry (apparently, they hate each other). One thing I found alarming is the fact that this book/movie shows a classic "he'll change for me" relationship, where a woman goes out with an emotionally unavailable man but thinks and believes that he'll change just for her, because she is special. I'm not sure if they talk more in the book, in the film they have very few real conversations, a lot of adventures and some kinky sex, and by the last few minutes of the film (SPOILER ALERT!) Anna tells Christian she has fallen in love with him. 

I am from Latin America, and I grew up watching telenovelas, the epitome of unhealthy and unrealistic relationships. I've seen a lot of girls (and women) pursuing terrible relationships because "I love him", or "he loves me", or "he'll change for me". The reality is, they wont change. This book is an Anglo-Saxon version of a telenovela, the young middle class girl meets a rich and emotionally damaged man, completely emotionally unavailable, and falls for him, without even getting to know him. It's fine to have an adventure, but I can't understand how you can fall for someone who clearly doesn't want to have a healthy relationship. 

I was reading about BDSM the other day, this is a community I've never been involved with but that I respect a lot. What a lot of people said in different articles and videos was that the BDSM community has an emphasis on communication, which is clearly missing from the Anna/Grey relationship. 

I think the books are OK as mom-porn. My biggest issue is that they could inspire women in abusive relationships to stay, or even make them think it's OK to be treated badly (as long as they have money and are crazy good looking, and of course, if they say they feel different with you). BDSM doesn't always mean pain and consent doesn't mean you can do anything you want and hurt someone. 

The best thing about this books is the following: Fifty shades of Takei, a parody by George Takei (who is brilliant).

This actually made me happy, the thing I hated the most about the book was all the "oh my"'s in there (which was the main reason stop reading it). I got from this blog that:

"James uses "jeez" 69 times, "oh" 424 times. We are told Grey has long fingers 24 times. Steele cries 38 times. Steele and Grey never just say anything. They whisper mostly, 197 times in total. They also frown 123 times. The reader is reminded 20 times that Grey is rich."

To me, it felt like "oh my" was said on every page, and perhaps it was! 

Adopting a pet - saving two lives at once

I've had pets all my life, since I was 4 years old and we had our first cat. Since then I've had cats, dogs, turtles, tortoises, ducks, hamsters, chickens and fish. I didn't live in a farm, but was lucky enough to live in a big house with animal lovers as parents. At age 25 I moved an ocean away from home and left my two cats with my mom and my siblings (both have past since then, they were very old), I missed them every day and always felt I was missing something. 

Two years ago I moved to Barcelona, Spain, with my boyfriend, it had been 8 years since I had a pet of my own, we thought we would stay there for a long time - which didn't happen, but that's a story that has been told in another post - so we decided to adopt a cat, an animal we both love. The adoption story itself is quite long, and I don't think it's worth telling, the important part is that after seeing him on facebook I fell in love with Tiny - pronounced Teeny - who was called Simba back then.

Top picture: Tiny, the day he arrived, already very comfy and at home with us. Bottom picture: Summer 2014, a very happy Tiny. 

Since the moment he came into my life he has never left my side. Both me and my boyfriend have a different relationship with him, with my boyfriend is more of a play/ love relationship, and with me it's a more cuddle / love relationship. We both adore him and we don't see ourselves without him. He has a very strong personality, very opinionated, cuddly and sweet but he'll let you know what he wants and how he wants it, he is very curious and wants to know what we are doing at all times and where we are. We watch shows together and kitties on youtube. He has stolen the heart of a lot of non-cat people and cat people alike. He is both a playful cat (which is what my boyfriend wanted) and a lap cat (which is what I wanted). He gives us kisses all day, which makes up for the fact that he never purrs. 

The super handsome Tiny at his best.

We are not sure how Tiny's life was before he came into our lives, he was already 1 year old and had been in a foster home after being found on the street and in another home where they didn't want him, all we know is that we saved each other. He is my faithful companion, always there, always loving, I wouldn't change him for anything. 

Why Adopt and not Buy? 

Honestly, I have ZERO interest in breeding, I find it unfair to a lot of animals out there with no homes. 

The biggest issues for me are two things, 1) a lot of pure breed and mixed-breed pets are in shelters or abandoned because irresponsible pet owners purchase a pet and are not prepared for the responsibility. Cats are fairly easy as pets, but they still need a certain amount of responsibility, they will scratch the furniture (in most cases), they could pee to mark territory, they can scratch children, etc etc... every time you get a pet do your homework, and if you want no responsibility and all the cuddliness then get a stuffed animal. 

2) Puppy and kitten mills. Every time you buy a pet in a pet store and sometimes online you have no idea where this animal has come from... In a lot of cases, they come from pet-mills. For more info click here and here. 

Please, adopt a pet and bring happiness into your lives. They will love you unconditionally. If you can, adopt an older animal or one with special needs, those that are deemed "not cute" or "not adoptable", especially if you had previous experience with animals.