The road to lilac - pastel coloured hair

 I've decided to write this post because there is not a lot of info out there on what to do to get platinum blonde hair or lilac hair (especially with products coming from the UK). 

So far, it has been a long road from very dark brown hair to what I was looking for,  it took a very long time, around 8 months to be fair. I recommend people to not try bleaching at home, I've done it, but my hair is very strong and I have some experience. Also, be patient, it takes a very long time, especially if you have dark hair like myself and if you have used dark hair dye. Use plenty of conditioner and let your hair rest, especially after bleaching. 

Initially, I had very dark dyed brown hair (my hair now has a lot of grey hair, so I have to dye it), which had been dyed over and over for ages. 

To remove the brown, I had to bleach it a couple of times and I got the hideous orange hair (NOTE: I have very strong hair, I don't recommend people to bleach at home without previous knowledge or to do it twice in a row, let your hair rest). I had a wedding coming up, so I decided to turn my hideous orange bleached hair into a nicer ginger colour. 

After that brief ginger month (which I loved) I went back to my search of the allusive platinum blonde / lilac hair. The bleaching process was horrific and it damaged my hair quite a bit.  It was still very very orange (even after 2 bleachings and a colour B4), so I decided to use Schwarzkopf Live Color XXL in purple pink to let my hair rest a little, and I got a very interesting pinkish-purple that lasted 1 month (as I continued my bleaching process very soon after that). I wasn't super happy with the colour, and to be fair, I should have used Directions instead (as they are very good for the hair).

Removing that purple took a colour B4 and some bleach, but I still wasn't blonde enough.

I continued bleaching every month (from september till november), without using a toner (only directions silver, which did nothing, and silver shampoo, which didn't do much either), until I decided to try using Directions Lilac, mixed with conditioner 50:50, and I got my hair toned, without knowing it.

I finally achieved platinum blonde! But my search didn't stop there! In december I mixed a little bit of Directions Violet with a lot of conditioner, and I finally got my lilac!

Since then, that's what I've been doing, mixing Violet hair dye (either Directions or stargazer, I prefer Directions) with loads of cheap white conditioner until I get the colour I would like my hair to look, I then apply it on very bleached hair (it has to be yellowish, no orange in it, or it wont work!) and leave it on for at least 1 hour and then wash the excess out. The conditioner will improve the appearance of your hair, so you get the colour and the texture you want! 

My advice to have lilac hair is:

1- Bleach until you get a very light yellow hair (go to a salon for this)

2- Use Violet hair dye mixed with conditioner (leave on for at least 1 hour), I recommend Directions.

3- Don't wash your hair every day, I wash once every other day and my colour fades after 1 or 2 weeks. 

4- Use silver shampoo and or/ add some dye to your daily conditioner. 

Also, Directions in silver does NOTHING to me, not even a slight silver tint, it just acts like a toner, and not a great one. 

Other recommendations that were very helpful to me can be found here. the Daintysquid has wonderful coloured hair and you should at least have a look at her blog. 

Hope this post helped! If you have questions or comments, don't hesitate to ask! Also, if you have other tips or brands you like, let me know!

50 shades of Grey: kinky sex or abusive relationship?

I want to start this post by saying that I respect everyone that enjoyed this books/film. I think it's great that more women are open to explore their sexuality and experiment new things. Personally, I tried reading the first book and stopped half way through, the writing was awful and it felt like what it is, a book written by an old woman that was fantasizing about twilight, it didn't feel like something a 23 year old girl would do or say (without going into details and spoilers). 

I went to see the film last week to have ammunition, I'm not sure I can sit through the book again. To be fair, I found the film very tame (compared to what I read on the book, which wasn't much) and I agree on the fact that the actors had no chemistry (apparently, they hate each other). One thing I found alarming is the fact that this book/movie shows a classic "he'll change for me" relationship, where a woman goes out with an emotionally unavailable man but thinks and believes that he'll change just for her, because she is special. I'm not sure if they talk more in the book, in the film they have very few real conversations, a lot of adventures and some kinky sex, and by the last few minutes of the film (SPOILER ALERT!) Anna tells Christian she has fallen in love with him. 

I am from Latin America, and I grew up watching telenovelas, the epitome of unhealthy and unrealistic relationships. I've seen a lot of girls (and women) pursuing terrible relationships because "I love him", or "he loves me", or "he'll change for me". The reality is, they wont change. This book is an Anglo-Saxon version of a telenovela, the young middle class girl meets a rich and emotionally damaged man, completely emotionally unavailable, and falls for him, without even getting to know him. It's fine to have an adventure, but I can't understand how you can fall for someone who clearly doesn't want to have a healthy relationship. 

I was reading about BDSM the other day, this is a community I've never been involved with but that I respect a lot. What a lot of people said in different articles and videos was that the BDSM community has an emphasis on communication, which is clearly missing from the Anna/Grey relationship. 

I think the books are OK as mom-porn. My biggest issue is that they could inspire women in abusive relationships to stay, or even make them think it's OK to be treated badly (as long as they have money and are crazy good looking, and of course, if they say they feel different with you). BDSM doesn't always mean pain and consent doesn't mean you can do anything you want and hurt someone. 

The best thing about this books is the following: Fifty shades of Takei, a parody by George Takei (who is brilliant).

This actually made me happy, the thing I hated the most about the book was all the "oh my"'s in there (which was the main reason stop reading it). I got from this blog that:

"James uses "jeez" 69 times, "oh" 424 times. We are told Grey has long fingers 24 times. Steele cries 38 times. Steele and Grey never just say anything. They whisper mostly, 197 times in total. They also frown 123 times. The reader is reminded 20 times that Grey is rich."

To me, it felt like "oh my" was said on every page, and perhaps it was! 

Adopting a pet - saving two lives at once

I've had pets all my life, since I was 4 years old and we had our first cat. Since then I've had cats, dogs, turtles, tortoises, ducks, hamsters, chickens and fish. I didn't live in a farm, but was lucky enough to live in a big house with animal lovers as parents. At age 25 I moved an ocean away from home and left my two cats with my mom and my siblings (both have past since then, they were very old), I missed them every day and always felt I was missing something. 

Two years ago I moved to Barcelona, Spain, with my boyfriend, it had been 8 years since I had a pet of my own, we thought we would stay there for a long time - which didn't happen, but that's a story that has been told in another post - so we decided to adopt a cat, an animal we both love. The adoption story itself is quite long, and I don't think it's worth telling, the important part is that after seeing him on facebook I fell in love with Tiny - pronounced Teeny - who was called Simba back then.

Top picture: Tiny, the day he arrived, already very comfy and at home with us. Bottom picture: Summer 2014, a very happy Tiny. 

Since the moment he came into my life he has never left my side. Both me and my boyfriend have a different relationship with him, with my boyfriend is more of a play/ love relationship, and with me it's a more cuddle / love relationship. We both adore him and we don't see ourselves without him. He has a very strong personality, very opinionated, cuddly and sweet but he'll let you know what he wants and how he wants it, he is very curious and wants to know what we are doing at all times and where we are. We watch shows together and kitties on youtube. He has stolen the heart of a lot of non-cat people and cat people alike. He is both a playful cat (which is what my boyfriend wanted) and a lap cat (which is what I wanted). He gives us kisses all day, which makes up for the fact that he never purrs. 

The super handsome Tiny at his best.

We are not sure how Tiny's life was before he came into our lives, he was already 1 year old and had been in a foster home after being found on the street and in another home where they didn't want him, all we know is that we saved each other. He is my faithful companion, always there, always loving, I wouldn't change him for anything. 

Why Adopt and not Buy? 

Honestly, I have ZERO interest in breeding, I find it unfair to a lot of animals out there with no homes. 

The biggest issues for me are two things, 1) a lot of pure breed and mixed-breed pets are in shelters or abandoned because irresponsible pet owners purchase a pet and are not prepared for the responsibility. Cats are fairly easy as pets, but they still need a certain amount of responsibility, they will scratch the furniture (in most cases), they could pee to mark territory, they can scratch children, etc etc... every time you get a pet do your homework, and if you want no responsibility and all the cuddliness then get a stuffed animal. 

2) Puppy and kitten mills. Every time you buy a pet in a pet store and sometimes online you have no idea where this animal has come from... In a lot of cases, they come from pet-mills. For more info click here and here. 

Please, adopt a pet and bring happiness into your lives. They will love you unconditionally. If you can, adopt an older animal or one with special needs, those that are deemed "not cute" or "not adoptable", especially if you had previous experience with animals.